Thursday, July 31, 2014

Falling on My Sword

Seeing as how there was sooo much interest in the subject of bizarrely flavored Lays, as a public service, 

and to save you $4.29 in buyer’s remorse,

and because I had a house full of kids who are willing to do silly things in the name of a fun blog post,

and because one of them said, “Buy them! It will be like a science experiment!”

I went ahead and bought a bag.

I am almost ashamed to admit that.


I bought the bag home and set the bowl before six kids ranging in age from five to 13. Keep in mind these are the kids who thought Cool Ranch Doritos sandwiched between Oreo cookies was a taste sensation. I would say that qualifies for being “open minded”

Here are the results:

O, the 13 year old: “I’m confused.”
A, the five year old: “I like coffee and I don’t like coffee anymore!”
E, the 11 year old: is speechless
J, the eight year old: “Blech!!”
H, the ten year old: “Meh.”
W, the 12 year old: “Did Lays even try these before they sold them? I mean, I keep trying them to see if they would taste better but they don’t.”

The 17 year old walked in and said, “You didn’t seriously buy these, did you?” and walked out.

Apparently this particular flavor was submitted by Chad of Henderson, NY. He is quoted on the back of the bag as saying, “Cappuccinos are my lifeblood. A cappuccino potato chip lightly dusted with sugar...I may never put them down.”

Good grief, Chad! Where in the name of all that is good are you getting your cappuccinos? The Flying J truck stop?!? This potato chip is an affront to all that is good and holy about coffee based beverages.

A quick visit to Google Maps showed that Henderson, NY is a rather scenic town on the shore of Lake Ontario; 20 minutes from a Starbucks in Watertown and 12 minutes from a Dunkin’ Donuts. Really Chad, there is no excuse.

And it makes you wonder what Lays passed over thinking that this flavor would sell.

The highlight for me was the fact that Lays felt it important to put this statement on the bottom of the bag: "Does not contain caffeine"
Good to know 'cause I was a little concerned about the kids catching a buzz off of these.