Friday, November 01, 2013

The Morning After

I think the morning after Halloween is the most anticipated morning second only Christmas.

This is what I woke up to this morning:

The kids spent close to an hour sorting and trading their candy. They will set the candy up on display so the siblings can see what there is available for trade (OCD much Tater?). This photo was from 7:30 AM and already Tater had cornered the market on Nestle Crunch bars. Of course, Mom has a big bin in which kids can trade in "undesirable candy" (i.e. Double Bubble, Butterfingers, Almond Joys) for whatever Mom has left over from last night's give away stash. Mom has also been known to pull rank and force a trade for Kit Kats or Milky Way Dark. I like to consider it a unit lesson on life in the former Soviet Union.

Observing the mayhem, Buttercup asked, "Are we actually going to eat breakfast this morning or just fondle the candy?"

Here's some fun stuff that was acquired last night.

This made me laugh. When I was a kid, these candies were packaged to look like cigarettes. I guess it was decided this was not a good idea since, oh I don't know, CIGARETTES CAUSE DEATH. So now they're called "Candy Sticks." Just what flavor is Hulk Candy Stick? I'll probably continue to call them candy cigarettes just like I continue to refer to my breakfast as Sugar Smacks and not Golden Crisp (you're fooling no-one Post!)

The most coveted Halloween prize is the "Full Size" candy bar. Apparently calling something Fun Size does not make it so. The winner in this year's "Full Size" haul is Gummi. It's that smile. I swear, one day I'm going to walk into a BMW dealership with that kid, have him smile and walk out with a new car.

Do the Tootsie roll people have a factory somewhere that churns these things out just for Halloween? Is there someone out there who thinks, "Boy howdy! I can't wait for Halloween so I can get some of those lime Tootsie rolls!" I mean orange? Lemon? Vanilla?!? Apparently some of these flavors are actually made with an excretion drawn from beavers. But "Beaver Butt" flavor is a lot to typeset on a tiny wrapper.

Our very sweet neighbor gave us these cupcakes. Given the noise she has to put up with living next to us, I'm surprised she didn't give us a half dozen tranquilizer darts. This is also the neighbor who introduced me to Stroopwafels. I will never move from this neighborhood as long as she's here. Never.

This is by far my favorite piece. Who needs marketing? Branding? Pshhh! Get right to the point! Why waste time on logos and typefaces?
Maybe GUM is an acronym for something?
Gob-Smacking Unimaginative Marketing?
Gross Unidentifiable Mucilage?

Definitely more fun than should be legal.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

I know a real live person who insists that flavored tootsie rolls are her favorite candy. She said that with a straight face. I'll ask if she likes the beaver butt flavor.

I wouldn't eat those cupcakes; they may have tranquilizer frosting. I'm pretty sure stroopwafel are illegally addictive.