Saturday, March 06, 2010

Loss

The problem with modern technology is that while it enables us to share happy news with many people in a flash, it's that many more people you have to inform when something goes wrong.

Last Thursday, at a routine ultrasound to assess my due date, it was determined that the baby had died a few weeks ago. There was no heart beat. I was told when a miscarriage happens this early in the pregnancy, it's almost always due to chromosomal abnormalities, meaning the baby was not growing the way it was suppose to so the body shuts down the process on its own. My midwife made it a point to tell me that there was nothing I could have done. Bo and I are heartbroken over this. It is amazing how attached you can become to someone you've never met. And how, even this early in pregnancy, you love the child that doesn't have a cheek big enough to kiss.

I have two requests.

Please do not tell me it's for the best. Perhaps from your view point it is, but for me, losing a child even in utero still hurts.
Please pray for healing.

Thank you.

18 comments:

Thomas and Lisa said...

Understand the pain, been there more than once. I pray that God will be near you and surround you with people who will care for you.

Rebecca Holter said...

I'm sorry Dawn. Our love is with you.

GE is me said...

Grieving with you & for you.

Meka Foo said...

Words are not enough, Dawn. I'm so very sorry. *HUGS*

Crazy Plant Lady said...

((Kerr Family) I am so very sorry for your loss. Your entitled to your grief. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. And you have my prayers and Love.
Shell

jgrattan said...

You about said it all. Sort of scares us. We are there with you, Dawn & Justin. Just hang in, OK?

Gma & Gpa

Anonymous said...

There are no words that I can offer to ease your hearts, but I offer you my shoulders should you need to lean. Remember that you are loved and are surrounded by people who care.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry auntie dawn. I Love You!♥
Your neiece
becca

Amy said...

I'm so sorry Dawn, had one myself and it's horrible as you said. Praying for you and the familia!

XOXOXOO Amy

Kelly said...

I am so very sorry for all of you.

Lori said...

(NIV) Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I need this verse today, hope it may encourage you as well. Sometimes there are no words to express the sorrow we feel for someone. I am so sorry does not quite work but is all we know to say. Praying for healing. {{{hugs}}}

Nikki said...

I have walked this road twice (went in for ultrasound thinking everything's fine and found out our babies didn't have heartbeats). It does hurt, and my heart hurts for you. May you experience God's powerful presence and peace in your life.

Tristan said...

I know where you're at, I've been there 3 times already. This last time I was especially blessed during my "we're not sure if this pregnancy will last" stage by the song While I'm Waiting by John Waller. (It is in the movie Fireproof).
Here is my blog post about it: http://ourbusyhomeschool.blogspot.com/2009/10/music-im-listening-to.html

{{HUGS}} Praying for your hurting heart!

MaryEllen said...

Tears in my eyes as I read your post again. Don't know the right words.

I love you, my friend.

Celine said...

Oh Dawn, how sad. I'm so sorry. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Aubbie said...

I am so truly sorry for your loss Dawn. I will say prayers for comfort for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry Dawn. I was in your position about a year and a half ago and I agree that a baby in-utero is still a baby in your heart. Nov 12 was the day I found out I had lost my baby. I will never forget that precious one. Thinking of you (hugs) and prayers.

Angie Gotta

Andrea said...

I just read this today, was thinking of you, Dawn - I remember how much I cried when the same thing happened to us. I hope the healing has begun for you.