Thursday, July 30, 2009

Postition Available

I need someone.

After the standard question, "Are they all yours?" I'm usually asked, "How do you do it all?" Meaning, how do I keep on top of the cooking, cleaning, educating, child care, et. al, ad nauseum. Truthfully, I never thought of my life as particularly full of chores and work.

Until now.

I need help. To clean my baby. It's a full time job. No, really, it is.

This is Gummi.
Cute little bugger with a sweet disposition.
He's bathed on a regular basis. Not as much as the only child of a first time mom, but never the less, he's a fresh smelling kid. But I'm finding it harder and harder to keep him funk-free. Why?

Consider his ear.
Notice the tiny little canals. Perfect for trapping stuff.

This is his chin. When I pull back his chin to clean, I discover two other chins. I swear I could lose a dollar bill under there.

And his belly button. I'm scared of what's in there but I don't know how to get it out. (I'm sorry, did you just finish eating dinner?)

Ahhh, yes. The toes. Which stay clenched all the time. I want to clean between them but that would require prying them open somehow. I'm scared.

His hands

Do you know how long it takes to trim the nails of an appendage that's constantly in motion?

So I can either tend to the rest of my house or spend the day cleaning Gummi, but I can't do both.

I will be interviewing people tomorrow.


Maria said...

Are you SURE you want a clean Gummi? I'm pretty sure that once you pry those fingers and toes apart and clean them, the little guy will be forced to become mobile and make messes in a wider radius. He mistakenly thinks you LIKE to clean and will make every effort to make messes faster than you can clean them.

GE is me said...

I think I agree with Maria, however, if you really need assistance, I'll volunteer to clean all hidden places on Gummi! :)

MaryEllen said...

Ditto on the neck and between the toes with my baby girl! Ew! What the heck? Never have I encountered an infant (and now toddler) that can collect so much ick in these areas - and before there was any apparent source for dirt!