Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Mother's Day

Its that time of year again! That wonderful day when we moms can say, "I ain't doin' nuthin' today!"
In case you're at a loss as to what to get me, I've compiled a handy gift list for you.

1.) A Segway. Yeah, I know they're expensive but I rode one of these in North Carolina and they are FUN! Wicked fun as they say here in New England. If I can get the manufacturer to attach a vacuum cleaner accessory to it, my house would be cleaned on a daily basis rather... than....once... every three.....months....

2.) A Self Cleaning Kitchen Floor. This is in case the Segway doesn't work out. I need something or someone to deal with the near constant crumbs/dirt/cereal/small children that litter my kitchen floor. Don't tell me to get a Roomba. The amount of stuff on our floor would choke that poor little machine.

3.) A Micro Chip Sensor for Hand Lotion Pumps. This sensor will disable the pump from dispensing large amounts of whatever, whenever Baby touches it.

4.) A Decaf Caramel Latte. Every Day. Iced in the summer, please.

5.) A Personal Servant. Bo Hunkmeister, while being a great husband, has informed me that his boss will not pay him to be my personal cabana boy. In light of this unfortunate piece of information, I want the Honda Asimo personal robot.

"This way for your massage, oh Domestic Goddess"

6.) Two Extra Hours in My Day. I know that this is the one thing everyone wants but I'm really behind in my reading list of 50 or so books and I want to catch up before any more are published.

7.) A Dinner-ator. This handy device will assemble all the ingredients necessary for a delicious, healthy dinner and then gently beep at 5:00 pm to remind me to put it all together. All for less than $5.00 a night.

Well I think that's a good start. Let me know if you have questions.

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